The Delightfully Cranky Adventures of Walt & Henry
by ThinkingBeforeTalking
Summary: This is because I would not let you use my phone.


"You shot me!"

"I missed, there's a difference. Besides, it's just a scratch."

"From the amount of blood, it is more than a scratch." Henry examined his weeping flesh wound. There was a significant gash on his shoulder where the bullet grazed him and it would need a few stitches.

"This is because I would not let you use my phone."

"If I really wanted to shoot you, you'd be the one down in the ditch at Deadman's Curve."

"They really need to stop putting 'Dead' in all the place names. And they wonder why tourism isn't booming here. Everywhere on the map, dead this, dead that and oh look here's a lovely vacation spot 'Death Wish Creek' ... Actually, can we go? I wanna see if the spirit of Charles Bronson lives there."

Vic was studying the map trying to find the closest medical facility, clinic, witch doctor, something.

We were out for a hike on Fulton's Pass when a full grown buck came charging at us. I had no choice but to take it down before it impaled Henry. The bullet happened to graze his shoulder as it went past towards the intended target. I wasn't going to hear the end of this little indiscretion.

"She talks a lot. It is a refreshing change of pace from your usual chatterbox persona." Henry looked at me and smiled. He liked Vic, after all, he now had a powerful ally in his pursuit to discombobulate me at any opportunity.

.  
.

"You shoot me and now you take me to a vet?"

Henry looked at Vic, he knew she was having trouble holding it back. "I know you are thinking it, do not ..." Before he finished, Vic interjected with what she had been trying to hold back for the last few minutes.

"But you're the Bear." Snort. It was an adorable noise she made when she amused herself. I tried not to laugh, clearing my throat instead. Henry looked perturbed.

"He's the closest thing we got to a doctor until we get back to civilization."

"Hey, I am a doctor ... a phd in animal studies. But I have top notch first aid training." Barry, who was out in the field tagging some of our natural fauna, thankfully, had a well stocked first-aid kit at his disposal. He was trying to instill some confidence in us that he indeed knew what he was doing.

"He is not even a vet." Muttering as he scowled in my general direction.

"Well, if we had taken the Bronco, like I said, we would be back by now."

"Do not insult my truck, it is a classic ... she broke down because she knows you do not like her."

"Barry, do you happen to have a satellite phone we could borrow. I'd like to let my people know we're ok." Ruby would be worried about us, I asked her to send out the calvary if we weren't back by 6pm.

"Sorry, the batteries died, I'm still charging it and the solar charger takes a while."

"When it's charged, could you call this number and tell them to send someone to come pick us up at the top of Fulton Pass in the morning. Preferably with a tow truck."

.  
.

"This is not quite what I had envisioned for my first hiking experience. I thought you guys were like outdoorsman ..." That's when the rampant arm and hand gesticulating began.

"... experts in all things outside, they said. What could go wrong with an indian and sheriff in charge, I said, sure sounds like a great idea for a day trip ..."

If Vic was agitated now, wait till she finds out we don't have any camping gear or sustenance.

"Still no cell reception." She checked her phone again.

"We're surrounded by mountains, you're not going to get anything for awhile. Better turn it off and save the battery for later."

.  
.

"So you're telling me we're out here, in the open, with NO FOOD, NO SHELTER?!"

"You can borrow my hat?'

That last remark was probably unwise. She walked, or rather stomped ahead of us.

"I see why you are so popular with the ladies, your technique is impeccable."

I glowered and grimaced, as I often do, when people were annoyed with me or vice versa.

We continued to make our way to the top of Fulton Pass, and the conversation returned to the usual point of contention.

"Why will you not buy a cell phone?"

"What for? Everyone around me has one, I can just borrow yours."

"Maybe I do not want you to use my phone. There are matters on it which I prefer to keep private."

"Oh, you mean those messages from Deena, what was it that Vic called it ... sexting."

Henry blushed, squinted, then glared and then maybe a hint of embarrassment. Yep, that would likely be the last time he would let me use his cell phone.

.  
.

"Please tell me at least one of you Boy Scouts knows how to build a fire."

We answered together.  
"Henry does."  
"Walt does."

Vic rolled her eyes, and I looked at Henry. "You're better at it than me."

"Yes like with most things, but I am injured."

He was going to milk that for all it was worth.

.  
.

"Well, isn't this quaint, only took an hour to get the fire started."

The kindle was still damp from all the rain we were having. Still, an unforgivable delay it seems.

"I'm going to sleep on that log over there. If anything with more than two legs ... or no legs comes near me, shoot it."

Vic made herself comfortable and tucked herself in, as much as she could on a log.

"How is it going with the two of you?"

"Ok, as far as I can tell, but after today, who knows ..."

"I am happy for you Walt. After all that has happened, it is good to see you happy ... well happier." He smiled.

"Thanks Henry."

.  
.

Morning couldn't come soon enough, we started early in hopes of bringing this little adventure to an end.

When we finally reached the top of the pass, the Ferg was there waiting with his car and a tow truck. Henry, went with the tow truck to fetch his classic but immobile vehicle, while Vic and I rode back with Ferg.

But before we parted ways, Vic wanted to share with us just how much she had enjoyed our company.

"This was delightfully unpleasant, we shouldn't do this again soon." She was getting really good at the eye-roll.

"Fast and furious Ferg. It's been a long night."


End file.
